Narnia, not….

November 1, 2012


People love pain. After all, look at the popularity surrounding the book 50 Shades of Grey. As a trainer, killer workouts are the easiest training programs to design. In fact, as I am sitting in a cafe & before I finish this espresso I will act like Christian Grey & drum up two killer popular routines that are done by the masses on a daily basis. One is killer boring. The other is just killer. First, the dull one. The dull one is to prepare you for what is considered the ultimate mass ‘get into shape routine’: in other words, preparing you for an endurance race where the goal is, are you ready for this: to train slow for a very long time. Come on, is it just me that thinks this is crazy. Anyway, here we go. Do twenty minutes of cardio. Every week add 5 mins. Continue until you become bored senseless or you realize you aren’t making any progress other than the ability to run for an additional 300 more seconds at an even slower pace. The second type of killer exercise routine is extremely popular with the lifting masses. Try it. It’s fun. That is, if you’re the kind of person who finds a toothache fun. Do 20 body weight squats, 10 power cleans with half your body weight, 10 muscle ups, 20 jumps onto a high box, and then run 400 meters. Complete as many times as you can in 24 mins. Record the result and try to beat it next week. And the week after. And maybe the week after that.  The payoff from both these kinds of fun exercise programs is the 50 shades feeling of receiving pain being instantly rewarding-because all that sweat and muscle breakdown-will definitely make you feel as if you are trying. Most importantly of all is the shared glory you will experience within the mass community of like minded trainees who are into it. (Proving you are not alone in this crazy journey.) However, their is large cracks in both killer systems. Each system will undoubtedly lead you to the path of injury, tightness or exhaustion, have you plateau fast, make you lose power, crave sugar, provide you the feeling of being chained to your exercise routine and quite possibly worst of all, turn you into a “give-me-5” junkie. You will also need to adopt a new training idealogy & mentality. You will call it hardcore. Others, like myself, will call it nutty. You may start quoting Nietzche, uttering spleel like “whatever does not destroy me makes me stronger.” You may even still believe the Nike Commercial when Lance Armstrong says “I’m on my bike busting my ass 6 hours a day. What are you on?”

Admittedly, I am a more Chronicles of Narnia kind of guy. In other words Lance, “I am on Narnia.”

If 50 shades of grey training is killer training with whips and implements inside the red cupboard, Narnia training is a world of pleasures going on the other side of the cupboard. Narnia training will make you feel wonderful, when optimally implemented, is easy to continue, will allow you to enjoy days off, and the results are quite fantastic. In fact, once you have experienced Narnia training you will never look at the cupboard quite the same again.
So TLA how do you know you are in an Narnia training program?

  1. You rarely get injured
  2. You feel fresh when you train
  3. Your body fat is slowly inching down
  4. Your strength or definition is slowly going up
  5. You sleep well
  6. You feel so good that you want to dance like psy every time you are alone
  7. You enjoy days off
  8. You feel great, not tired from training
  9. you can eat moderate levels of carbs of any kind and it won’t affect your body fat (In fact, the carbs will enhance your
  10. Sugar Cravings gradually disappear
  11. You never get sick. No Flu. No cold. Nothing.
  12. You smile and laugh because of all the above

However, as with all things good there is a catch. Getting into a Narnia training program takes time. It takes effort. And it takes planning. This is something many hate: after all, our lives are already super busy. In fact, Narnia training will be one of the hardest things you will ever do. For the Narnia type of training program to really succeed you have to initially become high maintenance. You know one of those really annoying do good sorts that everyone hates. Failure to do this initially and you won’t get the results you are after. Instead you will be living a story with a rather boring ending instead of enjoying an athletic physique with a fairy style ending. Finally, you also have to be patient. None of this two weeks nonsense. In fact, here is some words of wisdom. If it didn’t take you 30 days to get outof shape it probably won’t take you 30 days to get into shape.

So how do I enter the world of exercise Narnia? Stay tuned. That’s in the next blog post.